Do you love the holidays? Us too. In fact, we love the holidays so much that we made this rad list of gift ideas for your loved ones (and those you’d rather just left you the heck alone).
Hopefully you have tons of people in your life who would think these are as hilarious as you do. If not, that’s too bad. We’ll still be your friend.
What do you get the woman or man who has everything? What about the woman or man who loves the scent of cannabis but doesn’t live in a state where it’s legal?
Do you love paying just as much for a cannabis-scented candle as you would a month’s worth of cannabis? This candle is for you!
TGI-Barneys for jumping on the cannabis bandwagon just in time for the holidays. This magically happened just after it became somewhat mainstream — but not so mainstream that you’d find one affordably priced at JC Penny’s.
Alternative Candle-Related Gift: Joe Biden Scented Candle
This candle doesn’t technically burn the scent of former vice president Joe Biden. But it does smell like his fave orange sports drink.
Don’t have any particular feelings about Joe Biden? Are you a Canadian who is sick of the 24-hour cycle of American politics shoved down your throat every gosh-darn day? Are you an American who is sick of the 24-hour cycle of American politics shoved down your throat every gosh-darn day? You may want to consider a Justin Trudeau-scented candle (by the makers of the Joe Biden candle) instead.
This is, you know, for those Californians, whose friends who are always asking you to send them a little somethin’-somethin’ in the mail (despite the fact that it’s totally illegal to mail marijuana). Take that.
For the friends who do yoga, want to like it but hate every moment of it. You are vindicated.
There are three types of recipients that framed Tweets are the perfect gift for:
- The person who loves Twitter and can’t put down the forkin’ phone for two seconds at the dinner table
- The person who hates Twitter so much and refuses to use it because it’s, “Everything that is wrong with America right now”
- The person who has no idea what Twitter is because they still own a VHS player
We all have one of those people in our lives. The ones who always seem to be traveling. Maybe they even throw around the term digital nomad from time to time. They have so many Instagram followers, they have that little check mark next to their face. They reply to everything with phrases like, “This reminds me of that time I was in Bali…” while everyone represses eye rolls (but is secretly jealous).
Imagine the look on your brother’s face when he opens a box that contains a potato with the spittin’ image of your face. Just imagine.
There’s a pretty good chance that you’ve seen this one before, but just in case you haven’t… adult coloring books bring you: “Mommy Drinks Because You Cry.”
It’s the perfect way to spend a weekend at home next to a baby monitor, remembering the not-so-recent past when you would have been just getting ready to go out at this time of night.
Alternative Ironic Adult Kids Book: The Very Hungover Caterpillar
This is the perfect companion book to “Mommy Drinks Because You Cry.” You know, for the day after.
Who the heck on God’s green earth doesn’t like pizza?! We want to know. We want their names. Everyone. Everyone loves pizza.
Some people love pizza so much that one of the reviews actually stated, “My boyfriend loves these pizza socks almost as much as loves pizza itself.”
Sometimes you need to buy a gift for someone you don’t like. You may not have the words to tell them to buzz off. Now you have a gift that says it for you.
Awww, you thought this last one was going to be a gag gift, huh?
But then you clicked on the link and saw that it’s something sweet for dad. And you happen to be a dad and also just happen to be the guitarist in a dad band and thought, If my wife bought this, wrapped it up and placed it under the tree under the guise that my six-month-old kid did, I would just — stop. I. Can’t. Even.
You big softie.
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